Celebrate Adversity

There's a hot North Carolina storm going on outside. The lightnings striking, the thunder is gently rumbling our walls and I'm comfortably sitting on my bed with Pandora and my thoughts.

I have recently adopted this lifestyle of; "take every chance, drop every fear".

"Have you ever done 'stand up paddle board yoga'?"
"Why, no I haven't! Where do I sign up??"

Thinking to myself, "there are so many people here that I don't know, I'm scared." or "I've never done that before, I don't know what to expect." GOOD I say now.
Drop every fear and take EVERY chance.

Kind of like that movie, Yes Man. I feel like I am finally living. I mean yea, I learned things, met people and did some things back in Oregon, for the first 24 years of my life...But as an adult, who had that wanderlust, and who craved to see and do everything, I feel like I'm living now. I feel like my eyes have been opened to this whole new world that I never knew existed.

Speaking of movies. I saw the movie Risky Business for the first time the other day and there was this one part in there that really resonated with me.
(please be respectfully warned that this next part has a "not-so-good-word" in it, a few times) But is still a very powerful and important video, in my opinion.

"Sometimes you gotta say what the f***. Make your movie! Every now and then, say, what the f***. What the f*** gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.

Need I say more?

So in living life, and trying all these new things, taking your leaps of faith and taking risks, we are all going to come to adversity. Well, I say, CELEBRATE IT!

Celebrate adversity.

What does this mean to me? It means celebrate adversity, come on, say it out loud. You may need to say it a couple times in order for your brain to be able to wrap itself around it.

We live in a world where it's not always days off and sunshine. There is bound to be some adversity at some point in our journey and if you respond to it with a positive attitude, and choose to look at it with the right perspective, you'll see that it can actually be a good thing.

Adversity builds character.

Adversity enables us to get to know eachother.

Adversity can be an exciting adventure, if you let it be.

Can you imagine if life were just, always-never failing good? If it was just alright. No changes, ever. No growth, no progress or backsliding. Just one color, one note. All. The. Time. I really don't believe that's the way it was meant to be. We are human beings, meant to be able to withstand the storms, grow and learn. Laugh, love, cry, and have emotions.

Now, I'm not at all saying go out there and cause drama. Please don't in fact. I hate that. But, the life adversities that we all face, the mountains, the struggles, the looking for a job, or a home, or trying to lose weight or quit smoking...it's that stuff that builds us.

One of the most complex adversities we, as human beings have, is the whole relationship/friendship thing. Love is a funny thing. It can be your saving grace or it can be the end of your world and any trust you had. They say love is a gamble. Well I'm here to tell you from personal experience,

they're right.

It's definitely a risk. But we have to be willing to clear off our rusty, cob-webby gates and let love in. I'm saying this to you now because up until a year and a half ago, My concrete wall was up and ain't NO ONE was gettin' it down.

I remember specifically, about 2 days before I left on my roadtrip last summer, my cousin, Steph and I had a conversation. I remember I was fighting my case of, "I will never get hurt if I never let anyone in." But what I finally came to realize, was that I was actually hurting myself very much by staying so closed off. I realized that letting myself fall in that mad, passionate, crazy, real love, I allowed myself to finally be able to experience what I think should be the 8th wonder of the world. So I did, I let myself fall. And it has been the most amazing experience of my life. Riley has always been the one for me. I won't sit here and tell you I didn't struggle. I was scared. More scared than I think I have ever been. But we worked through it together, and made it to where we are today and I am sooo happy.

Aside from my relationship with Riley though, there are many other relationships and friendships I have experienced, some heartbreaking, some good, some that were only meant for a time and a season, and some I wished were meant for longer, but, of course God has his plan. 

Today my cousin, Steph, got married.

She's about 5 years younger than I am. We grew up together, attached at the hip as they say. As many differences as we had she was still my best friend. I remember when we were growing up, I would always call her "my little cousin" and at about 12 or 13 she started not liking that so much. I had to constantly remind myself that she's no longer my "little" cousin. That she is growing up. Age didn't matter to me, we had always been able to have late-night conversations, call each other crying, or laughing at a stupid joke, or even just to update each other on that days events. For 19 years we lived life together. It had always seemed that no matter what we were each doing, or where we were, our lives always ran parallel to each others. Time, age, distance...none of it mattered. Not only were we family, we were friends. Then, everything changed.

Of course we all secretly hope that everything will stay the same, comfortable, and known. But as adversity is, things changed. She met Bobby, her now husband. I moved away, half-way around the world it seemed like, and as much as I wanted us to continue with our "time-age-distance didn't matter" friendship, things seemed to not be going that way.

Because I am the type of person that CARES so much (almost too much at times), and so passionately, it devastated me to think that maybe I should let go. Maybe this is the way it's supposed to be right now, for us to not be so attached at the hip. I wanted so badly for us to be able to experience our whole lives together, even if we weren't in the same place, not just intervals. But, as I said before, God has his plan.
I still love her very much, and we are still family. I am so happy for her and Bobby. I truly do wish all the happiness for them. Bobby is a good guy and they are amazing for each other. I know they will take good care of each other :)

Congratulations to both of them!

I wasn't able to be at the wedding today, but believe me, I was feeling the emotion, even if I am half-way around the world. I felt sad, that I couldn't be there, but also happy, for them, and that everyone else got to go. Confused at life, for putting us in a place where I wasn't able to be at her wedding of all things. All of our lives that's what we thrived on, weddings. Wedding videos, pictures, magazines....we studied that stuff. We shared the same passion for all things wedding. So at the time in our lives when one of us gets married and were not together....hurts my heart. But, again, I am so happy for her and Bobby :)

I will always cherish our memories, our laughs, or long conversations. I will always think of her when I hear someone say "Doob" and I will always be there for her should she need anything, even if it's just a smile. Life may be taking us in different directions right now, and I may be 48,000 miles away but, to me anyway, were not done. I'm sure that one day our lives will once again run parallel, and whenever we do find ourselves reconnecting, as adversity does to people, I'm confident whatever new friensdhip blossoms, will be an amazing one.

I love you Steph.