I realize now, that I am quickly becoming what they call "domesticated". Although I still consider myself wild at heart, my life now, consists of being in a serious relationship, a stable job, and a home, and I want to make our home as comfortable and positive as I can.
If you were to look up the defention of 'domesticated' in the dictionary, you would find that it says:
to tame (an animal), to live in close association with human beings as a pet or work animal and usually creating a dependancy so that the animal loses its ability to live in the wild.
Yea. Even though this description is referring to domesticating an animal, or plant, this is exactly how I felt. I felt like a wild horse that someone was trying to put a saddle on.
As much as I loved Riley and as much as I wanted to be with him - for the rest of my life in fact. I had the hardest time being tamed. I had such a tight grip on "who I was", the independant, infamously single girl who didn't need a man. I had spent years before, alone, not allowing myself to fall very deep into a relationship, let alone live with a boyfriend. I knew in my heart that none of the other ones were right. So, hence, the 'always single' girl, out there, doin' it on my own.
Don't get me wrong, I had my fun, dated, got hurt, confused and had my blue skies as well as the grey. But never really let it get past the ' 3 month' mark - the honeymoon phase.
I remember when I was growing up, my mom told me that when she was a little girl and people asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, she would tell them; " I want to be a bum" because she just wanted to live in a cabin, and be free.
I could relate.
I was just sure I was going to be some sort of nomad. Traveling around the world, not having to be accountable to anyone, maybe live in Montana on a ranch, then maybe Alaska. I even planned on living in India for awhile. I wanted to taste test ALL of the different lifestyles that this world had to offer.
And then I got here. I definitely went through some soul searching. I loved Riley SO much, but I also still had this urge to go out and live all of these different lives. I quickly realized that without that one, the one who was made for you, and you for them, all of those "lives" and all of that adventure won't be worth it.
He is my best friend. The love of my life, and I am SO looking forward to all of our adventures together, and even those apart.
And you know what, as I've said before (and I'll probably say again) God knew what he was doing when he was preparing us for eachother; What better career could the guy I end up with be than the military??
Also, Riley supports me and that wanderlust I have. I still have that craving to see the world, take road trips, write, pursue my dreams and wild hairs. For Christmas he even bought me a Garmin GPS! (first one I've ever had) he said, "I know you're not done traveling, so this will keep you safe."
I can't tell you how much that meant to me :)
Anyway, it's safe to say that I have been tamed. For the most part ;) It was the most intimidating, terrifying, surprisingly wonderful process i'd ever been through. I had the hardest time letting go of the 'single' girl I was so used to. But let me tell you, so worth it. So worth it. Theres a scripture in the bible that says something like, 'labor to enter into the rest' and now I know what that means. Riley and I definitely labored. We fought, screamed, cried, talked for hours...and now were here, we've made it through some intense storms. Now I have confidence that we will be able to fight together, through anything.
So, now that I am that girl. With the stable job, a man to take care of, and purpose. Well, a more focused type of purpose, I have some things that I have been getting really excited about! Especially today.
Let me show you.
COUPONING! And well, just saving oodles of money in general.
A few of my favorites so far:
DIY homemade products - to save money and another branch of becoming self sufficient!
DIY Macramae Bracelets. So in love with these right now.
Eating CLEAN. Organic, gluten free, un-processed foods.
Also of course not to mention the whole cooking in general thing. Before I became this girl, the only thing I knew how to make were nachos, toast and cereal. Now, I'm actually excited to try a new recipes, branch out and expand our horizons
And, yoga. I have always loved it so I am super looking forward to getting more into it, getting healthy and having fun at the same time!
I will continue to post favorite websites or resources for these new endeavors of mine. Also, the progress of my projects and things I can get myself into ;)
HOBO! Not Bum. Hobo's are good guys; they're clean, and living that life on purpose; free from the system. Back in the day that was just the normal way of life; cavemen. Bums are, well...bums! It's where they got the word "bummer" and "bum a smoke off ya". But Hobos, they had stories man, sat around campfires, and had their buddies backs. So I guess, in reality I've have become an accomplished Hobo! So yee haw, what's next!?
ReplyDeleteLol... I knew your mom would correct u on that. Even as I was reading it I was like "hobo, not a bum"..
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